Story Time...

As a member of the restaurant industry, I have concluded that everyone should work in a restaurant once in their life...or at least date/befriend someone who has. This relationship will undoubtedly spark a whole new appreciation for servers ...which you should possess to begin with...because we are the ones who are quenching your thirst and making you uncomfortably full!

So....tonight's post will be more of a story time. Topic... "Did that just happen" moments.

First and foremost, it is important to understand that greeting a table is crucial. A great first impression, followed by great service, usually results in a great tip (or at least it should). Therefore, I know how to turn on the charm when it counts. If I have a table of women, my voice tends to sound relaxed and bubbly... and I am on top of their water/Diet Coke refills like no one's business. If it's men, I crank my southern accent all the way to a Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama... and smile so cute that all my dimples are visible...even in dim lighting.

But...it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, I always greet a table by saying...

• "Good morning/afternoon/evening! Welcome to (blah). How are y'all doing today?"

      This question can be answered in several ways:
      1. Friendly, enthusiastic response....with the guests asking the same question in return
      2. Polite...only sharing the bare minimum
      3. [insert chirping cricket sound here]

• Next, I would go on to responding or saying...

         "I am doing wonderful! Thanks for asking!" (voice inflection depending on the type of people)
         "My name is (blah), and I will be taking care of y'all today." Then I go in to my normal spill...

• But....if it is a table of men...I always say,

         "Good morning/afternoon/evening, Gentlemen."

Leading in the next blur (above)...followed by offering them a "guys' drink"...." So, gentlemen, how about starting off with a Crown and Coke or a nice glass of (select draft beer)?"

Now....you are probably wondering...where is she going with this? Well here goes story time about gentlemen.

The "Winker"
Listen, old man. Chances are you are old enough to be my father. How would you feel if creepy men were winking at your daughter while she is trying to do her job...in order to pay her bills? Probably the same way my dad would feel!

Countless times, I have been the victim of a wink. I'm not sure if you are under the impression that you will get better service because your eye keeps having spasm when I drop off your Jack on the rocks...but frankly, it is just unnecessary. Usually, I will just get guys to run things to the table...thus, you are really hurting your chances of me, or any other girl server, passing by your table.  You see, servers have a network...you tell one person something, and in a matter of three minutes, everyone knows.

For example, I tell Joe about the winker, who then tells Sue, and next thing you know... "Winker at table 33."  Next, that table either becomes a high traffic area to test it out...to see if he winks at other people too... or it becomes infested with guy servers because no girls want to pass the table...and I am too freaked out to keep going back.

   So, to all you winkers out there. It's not cute. It won't get you better service. It's just creepy. And...also a perfect example of awkward nonverbal communication.

The "Out-of-their-Element" Guest

I will admit, the restaurant I work for is a bit pricey. Therefore, the people who are "out-of-their-element" always provide the best stories....

 Recently, I had a party of ten, which consisted of five couples. They were seated an hour before closing and smelled like they were eating because they had the munchies. By this point, I was exhausted and ready to go home. I approached the table, looking like I had been through war with steak sauce. I greeted them....and immediately could tell...this is going to be a good time.

I offered drinks. Everyone ordered martinis, crown and coke, shots of patron. Things were starting to look up...maybe I was wrong to judge. Then...one young man asked me a question.

Guy: "Yeah, um, Mam'....y'all been busy lately, huh?"
Me: "Yes, Sir. We are usually this busy every weekend though."
Guy: "Shoooot...I figured y'all would be busy....everyone got them income tax checks in."
Me: [laughing....out loud....had to walk away]

After recomposing myself...I proceeded to take their order. Starting with the same young man...

Guy: "Um, yeah, I want the #29 Steak with the number #9 salad."
Knowing that I could not laugh again, I had to pull myself together and inform the party that the numbers were indeed...our prices.

Thus, due to the income tax money, I made A LOT of money too. Filets and countless martinis can add up to a pretty pricey check. After the moaning, fits and rechecking their bills....I was given the guilt trip from them. "Well, we were going out tonight...but you done took all our monies. Shooot...we can't go to the boat now, girl!"

I tried to lighten the mood and they began joking with me again....then the guy who dropped the income tax line on me put the icing on the cake by saying..."Bye...see ya next February." This statement was no joke...however, I lost it again.

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These two stories are just the tip of the iceberg...and just stories that happened this week. I have a huge repertoire of entertaining stories and will share most of them with you. Please feel free to post your stories as well!!

Remember....we may be putting food on your table....but we work to put food on ours! Be sweet to your servers!

Always at your service,
86 sense