Will you...

...marry me?

As if those words aren't scary enough, they are four words that I only want to hear from my boyfriend when the time is right...not when I am topping off your water. To me, a marriage proposal in a restaurant is overplayed, outdated and uncomfortable. However, you would be surprised by the gentleman who still think this setting trumps an intimate and private location. Unfortunately, I have been the third party in a few awkward marriage proposals where I work.

One night, a young couple, no older than twenty, sat in my section. They were dressed very nice, and I just assumed it was prom night. They were the typical young couple that you see in movies. They lovingly gazed into each others eyes across the table in a dimly lit restaurant, and he even ordered for her. After they finished, I placed the check on the table. As I passed the table again, I picked it up and went straight to the computer to complete the payment. On the check the guy, or should I say child, wrote, "I just asked her to marry me! She said yes! We're engaged!" Classy. Not really sure on company policy for proposal discounts. It was too late for me to sweet talk my manager for a free dessert. My only option was to graciously congratulate the newly engaged couple. I was pretty confused with the details of the proposal. How could I miss it? But, thankfully, they were eager to share the details with me...

They ordered dessert, our mouth-watering chocolate cake to be exact. She was in the restroom when I arrived at the table with it. Apparently, he placed the ring on top of the dessert, and she noticed it when she was shovling hot molten cake into her mouth. He popped the question. She said "yes." When I asked to see the ring, still smeared with hot fudge, I literally strained my eyes trying to see the bling. Love was oozing out of the booth, just like the hot fudge the ring was perched on. Diamonds, chocolate and true love: what more could a girl want? Well I can think of a few things...for starters, maybe 12 year-old molars, a diploma or even a drivers license. They were blissfully happy as they left, and to top it off, they held hands and pratically skipped out our doors....probably over to the mall to see a PG-13 movie to top off evening. Ah, young love.

Unfortunately, the next couple was not seated in my section. However, it was one of the most awkward proposal experiences. Again, on a slow night, an older couple was seated in a corner booth. They ordered a bottle of champagne. Hearing the top pop off a chilled bottle of champagne is one of my favorite sounds. To me, and any other server, nothing sounds better than "$cha ching$." Anyway, after enjoying the champagne for a bit, he led her down to the front of the restaurant. My friend and I were by a computer ringing in orders and chatting. The couple stood right in front of a table where two businessmen were enjoying their 16oz prime rib. He asked for everyone's attention and asked the "most beautiful woman in the world" to marry him. Charming, huh?

With au jus dripping down their chins, the two business guys had a front row seat to the romantic trainwreck. After he popped the question and she said yes, no one knew what to do. Applause was very faint, and everyone had the "oh no he didn't" look plastered on their faces. Some clapped, some laughed, some stared, and some looked at their date and threatened them never to do that. And the two businessmen, well, they just took a long sip of their Maker's and Coke then picked up their steak knife and finished eating. Thank goodness the server sensed the mood and scurried over to congratulate them while ushering them back to their table.

So, to all of you "gentlemen" out there, spare us. Spare your lady. And most importantly, spare yourself from being the talk of the restaurant...even though it provides the waitstaff with jokes for days. Again, I personally feel that proposals should be special, either private or surrounded by your loved ones...not surrounded by guys gnawing on medium rare steaks, annoying kids craving attention or someone hacking up a lung at the table next to you. I am not opposed to dinner after biting the bullet...as long as you factor a tip into the ring budget! We all love customers with happy stories, and if you're great, we're great!
 
Obviously, the restaurant proposal has been done...more than once. Come on, guys. Step it up. Be creative. Be unique. And most importantly, be sincere.

Always at your service,
86 sense